It’s just about that time in our lives where people start to find who they want to spend the rest of their lives with. This past week alone I’ve seen about five or six marriage engagements on my Facebook timeline. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous because of course, your girl is single as hell. Seeing these engagements on my timeline got me thinking about what us college students do to combat loneliness. As hilarious as it sounds, the first thing that came to mind was Tinder.
If somehow you live under a rock and don’t know what Tinder is, it’s a dating app that’s commonly used by college aged individuals. You create a profile for yourself and then peruse the large number of other lonely bachelors and bachelorettes, swiping right to like them and left to dislike them. Because of the quick decision making process, probably 90% of the app is based solely on physical appearance, so it’s a really uplifting place to be if you can imagine.
I’ve used Tinder before. My previous boyfriend was someone I met from Tinder and one of my roommates is currently dating someone (whom I think she’ll marry) that she also met on the app. Other than these few success stories, there are enough failures to fill all the books in Thomas Library.
We all hear the scary bedtime stories about the creeps on the internet that prey on adolescent loneliness and ignorance, so meeting these people in person is kind of terrifying. People get stood up, ghosted just hours before the set date or even have dates show up drunk.
Personally, the one (and honestly only) Tinder date I’ve been on, I drove to his apartment about 20 minutes early, sat in my car and took 3 shots of rum, brushed my teeth and went inside. I certainly wouldn’t call myself an alcoholic, but we all know that alcohol makes us just a bit more confident in ourselves. I wasn’t drunk, just less nervous and more confident than I normally am. It should also be noted that I talked to this guy over text for about a month before I gathered enough courage to meet him in person.
The messaging beforehand can also be just as repulsive. Based on my experience, boys seem to keep it pretty simple and either message you with the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard or with the super-bland obviously well thought out “hey” or “what’s up?” How the heck are you supposed to start a conversation with someone with that line? “I’m good thanks, how are you?” “I’m good.” Then what? What did you have for lunch? You wanna hear my life story? Medical history? Mom’s maiden name?
Consider yourself lucky to have found someone on campus who’s romantically interested in you because interactions on dating apps can be some of the most awkward and horrific experiences of our young adult lives. I think that says a lot about what we’re willing to do to escape loneliness.