Wittenberg Gone Wild

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Illustration by Moe Buckley

When the time feels right, and a longing for adventure strikes, Wittenberg students have been turning to their animalistic roots, and unleashing their inner Tigers all over campus.
However shocking, there seems to be a rising abundance of sex outside of the bed taking place on Wittenberg’s campus, and Witt student’s blame adrenaline.
“Students like having sex in crazy places because it’s an adrenaline rush,” said junior Katie Wenger.  “They like the fact they may be able to get caught and it makes it more exciting.”
Other students agree, saying that by taking sex, something that is already a rush, and moving it to someplace unique, it becomes that much better of an experience. So where is it that Wittenberg students’ have left their mark? Well that depends on personal preferences related to sports, education and traditions.
It seems that sports fans have headed straight to their roots. Some students told stories of football field frolicking, stadium sex and baseball banging. In particular, one 2010 graduate explains her desire for adventure led straight to her passion of baseball.
“My boyfriend at the time was a baseball player, and as soon as he suggested the idea, we went for it, driving to the field, jumping the fence, and just doing it,” said the anonymous graduate. “It was a homerun… or I guess you could say grand slam… literally.”
Other Witt students find their passion to be related to their education. Students revealed another hot spot for hookups are bathrooms and hallways in Hollenbeck or even rooms in the library that you can rent out for “studying”.
“The library study rooms were made for hooking up,” said one current junior female. “I was sober and nervous we would get caught, but the adrenaline was what kept us going.”
Some Witt students have even gone above and beyond, landing themselves directly in the middle of campus. The Hollow, not unfamiliar to naked bodies thanks to streaking, seems to be a common place for Witt students to get down and dirty.
“My boyfriend literally picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me into the hollow,” said another 2010 alumni. “Forget streaking the hollow… I effed in the Hollow!”
Since Wittenberg is all about tradition, many students find the need to surpass the sex lives of their friends, and push Wittenberg traditions to the limit. Despite the inability to step on the seal in the center of campus, Witt students have found ways around the curse in order to get it on.
“One of my fraternity brothers had sex on the seal with his fiancé right after she graduated,” said an anonymous senior male. “He was a year under her, so she had to be on the bottom so that he wouldn’t endure the “curse” of the seal. They are now married and expecting their first child.”
Despite the many places on campus that seem to be tainted with Wittenberg loving, there are even more adventures to be found in surrounding areas. One 2010 Wittenberg grad explains that her passion was put into play on the walk to McMurray’s.
“It was graduation night a couple of years ago and I found myself on the hood of a truck parked in the alley behind Mc’s,” said this graduate. “A motion light detector came on, allowing everyone on College and Fountain to see us. We finished and then walked to McMurray’s for liquid satans and the aids wall.”
If education, nature, sports or tradition doesn’t get your heart pumping, Wittenberg students suggest a plethora of other places to try out. Krieg Hall practice rooms, Wally Witt, dorm lounges and laundry rooms and even the McMuray’s bathroom are just some other places Wittenberg students suggest trying out to keep things interesting and unwind from the stressful environment of college.
“Sometimes the stress of college life makes you just want to do something crazy,” said junior Sammy Miller. “Why not unleash your inhibitions and have some fun every now and then.”

(Kristin Komar / s11.kkomar@wittenberg.edu)