By Megan Conkle and Maggie McKune
Twas the night before Thanksgiving break and all through the halls
Not a creature was stirring, no Mikes, Todds or Pauls.
The suitcases were packed; they had been rolled down to the car
The students were mourning a lost weekend at the bar.
The classes were out, no more thoughts of dread
Post-turkey nap fantasies danced in students’ heads.
With CDR closed and the staff gone home,
A home-cooked meal was soon to be known.
When all throughout campus their rose such a clatter,
Wittenberg PD investigated the matter.
Away to the window Krystal flew like a flash
As New Dorm’s AC, investigating was her task.
She looked out the window and what did she see
On the President’s roof sat a giant turkey!
Chief Carl Loney didn’t know what to say
The crow cannons couldn’t keep this turkey away.
An emergency text message was sent to the phones
Of all of the students who had already gone home.
The text described our new-feathered friend
As a mysterious turkey (non-student) they were trying to apprehend.
Noah stepped in to see the commotion
And saw the turkey as a Thanksgiving promotion
The turkey could spread thanksgiving cheer to all near and far
And students could enjoy dinner in CDR.
But out of the haze came the sports teams, still on the campus
They were just getting out of their holiday practice.
They felt for the bird, and reasoned with the crowd.
They freed the bird, and Dr. Nibert was proud.
They all said goodbye to the feathery giant
And watched as it left, it’s wings wide and vibrant.
It was then that they realized, this turkey was different
Most turkeys can’t fly, but this flew off into the distance
As it left from the campus, it looked back and called:
Have a lovely break! Happy Thanksgiving to all!
(Poem adapted from “The Night Before Christmas” by Clement Clarke Moore)
(Maggie McKune / email@example.com)