@#$^$&! %?#$%^@$#%@! &%*&! %&*#$%!@! $@#$%#$^*^*! ^@$#%!…
Oh, we’re sorry. Did that offend you? Because it certainly hurt our ears (or eyes).
Consider this week’s column as housekeeping for your vocabulary.
Guys, girls: the swearing is really not cool. Or attractive.
This may shock several of you, but “gay” and “retarded” are not synonyms for stupid. Merriam-Webster defines “gay” as happily excited, brilliant in color, or homosexual. “Retarded” is defined as “slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress.” Notice neither one of these definitions has the word “stupid” in it. So don’t use it!
Here are some suitable alternatives we think you will enjoy:
- Sugar honey iced tea!
- Sugar beat faries!
- Gee willikers batman!
- Gosh darn!
- That’s whack!
- And our personal favorite, ‘cheese and rice’. It sounds like Jesus Christ, but it’s not. And it’s also delicious.
Don’t be afraid to call someone out.
If you hear someone say “Dude, that German test was so gay”, you march right up to them and say, “Excuse me, but when you can show me a German test that recognizes themselves with one gender or another and shows romantic preference for another German test of the same gender, then I will allow you to call that German test gay. But until then, choose your adjectives more carefully.”
Feel free to wag your finger, shake your fist, wave your arms, stop around, or some strange combination of all of the above. You may look like a mad man (or woman) but you will get your point across and will have delivered your message to more people as you will have drawn a crowd.
This your chance to get creative with your language. The same swear words get kind of boring after a while, don’t they? Be considerate. You never know who might be listening. Especially your professors. Hint hint.
We’re always looking for inspiration for our weekly topics. Got any questions, comments or concerns? Email us at email@example.com.
Or if you would prefer an anonymous method of asking questions, feel free to scribble us a note and send it to Wittenberg mail box 3229.
Keep it clean!
(Allie Ogden and Maggi Quigley / odgena.wittenberg.edu and firstname.lastname@example.org)